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This includes the following.
-Battlefield Immortality
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Available Quests
QUEST: SLAY THE BEAR! This quest requires 0 QR. You must be willing to kill a monster multiple times. Quest Expires on 7/1/2012.
QUEST: Scavenge the Land! This quest requires 0 QR. You don't have to know the Witchme world too easily to do this quest. Quest Expires on 7/1/2012.
QUEST: Have a robot head? A beginners quest in which you just need an item. Quest Expires: Never.
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 Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat

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FEVER-FOR-THE-BEIBER
Wizard Trainee
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Posts : 63
Age : 18
Location : I live in Calafornia with my 18 family step and birth i live at the blue house with 3 stories okay? Come to my house

PostSubject: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:13 pm

This is the story



Spoiler:
 

And thats what i got so far so critke critgue critque i still cant spell it (:
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PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:56 pm

Try not to make it boring in the beginning.
Think of, "so what."
Like give a better intro so that the readers are more hooked.
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PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:23 pm

You should try to show what's happening, not tell it. Also, I wouldn't count a couple sentences as a chapter.

For future reference, it's spelled 'critique'.
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♥ṫᾇῥṫᾇῥ♥
Sorcerer
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Posts : 360
Age : 18
Location : In the lalaland machine ^_^

PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:59 am

Uhhhhh I don't think that's a chapter. It's more like....like.....a sentence. Try adding in more details and ask yourself if you can actually imagine that it's happening to you.
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Marceline
EPIC Sorcerer
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Posts : 591
Age : 17
Location : Kaidan's Boxer Drawer

PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:36 am

This isn't really a chaptar. More like a sentence, I think you should put a little more detail.
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Maryy<33
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Age : 18
Location : konohagakure (Leaf village)

PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:55 am

This isn't a chapter its like a sentence in my point.Also make it more like interesting the reader gets bored and you give the info right away make the reader think about it.
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PostSubject: Re: Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:24 pm

♥ṫᾇῥṫᾇῥ♥ wrote:
Uhhhhh I don't think that's a chapter. It's more like....like.....a sentence. Try adding in more details and ask yourself if you can actually imagine that it's happening to you.
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Mystery School: Part 1 of 6: Mystery Meat
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